Reminder to Remember Resolve

Marking the passage of time day-by-day, scratching days off the calendar, filling-up the months that calculate a year and measure everything from age to rates of return, is an addiction I for one can’t seem to shake any more than our society can shake it’s addiction to oil. I’ve resolved in the past to get clean-and-sober but each time I attempt to live as if time were indeed illusion, and this moment were my only opportunity to fully live, the calendar seduces me down from the wagon, like a charismatic politician promising radical change, and before I know it I’m buying a nice new calendar, upgrading computer software, and chanting passionately, “VIVA La Planning–VIVA La Organization!”

Like each New Year before nothing has changed. I’m pacing like a twitching junkie, sweaty palms and all, with each pass of my office door jonsin’ to organize, and beat time at its game this year!

I consulted with my Inner Sponsor before loading the new software on my hard drive, and like Queen Latifa-come-Martha Stewart, she goes: “step away from the computer, and throw a dinner party”.

I checked my obsessive-compulsive desire to organize for the moment, and invited a small group of beloved friends to dinner. Like nothing else can, my friends and loved ones remind me of what matters most: how to play, love, and pray. With these dear faces gathered around me at a table screaming abundance while so many people go without, my year-end manic need to “get-my-game-on” was bitch slapped by gratitude with a capital G. Each of their faces represents to me a fantastic story marked by colossal talent, heroic practice, sensational successes, fabulous failures, heartbreaking losses and sweet forgiveness. Our shared humanity is like a healing balm on the wounds of my road-warrior life, a suffocating need in me to be perfect and for the moment, strengthens my resolve to face whatever lies ahead in the New Year with authenticity, and not some whompped-up should or shouldn’t my mind habitually asserts this time of year.

As for my New Years resolution: I resolve to remember to remember my resolve to:

• Eat even more probiotics and probotic foods every day.
• Maintain a sugar-free–coffee free diet without being irritatingly militant.
• Remember gratitude.
• Play more.
• Breathe when I feel the urge to smack someone like President Bush for example.
• Pray more.
• Honor my teachers through a life of practicing what they teach

Cheers!
Tarini

P.S.
Check out the link on Blueprint Magazines’ 50 best reasons to make & break resolutions. Note #28: New Chapter Every Woman, oganic probiotic nutrients! VIVA La Probiotics!